to know what to do. To know when to submit. To know when I'm submitting because I want to & it turns both of us on & all those other good reasons, & when I'm submitting from some random fear. I know rationally that I have nothing to fear. Those things in me that others have mocked, C celebrates. But it's always hard isn't it, to break that pattern. And yet, I will. If it takes me the rest of my lifetime, I will stop fearing what doesn't need to be feared.
When I was a little girl, I was the "scared" child. I had irrational fears out the wazoo & fear became acceptable to me. No longer. I will only be afraid of the really scary stuff--like spiders & public restrooms.
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